Richard Hawley

Mmmmmmm that is very, very lovely

one of my favourite songs of all time,i saw it when i was a little boy and i've been singing it ever since

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now,then!

Yep its a great song - not sure about the lyrics I've put though - all those "ay"s at the end- I always thought it was just Elvis stringing out the word night (yes with the ay's but its the order if the words) - but of course I could be wrong.

Elvis can string out anything he likes and make it sound liquid...

Back to the whole depression debate thread thing tho...i was just re reading some posts and it touches me that everyone who commented had had somekind of shared experience of depression/anxiety/phobia etc and therefore there is so much emapthy with each other's words. I was thinking about how sometimes those low periods that we all recognise have triggers -such as the loss of a loved one or relationship breakdown or even losing a job or status of somekind...thats something we can identify with cos it has roots in real life events. The daft thing about depression with no actual triggers is that its so freakin' overwhelming and undefinable, it just 'is' and it sumhow embedds itself in a deep rooted way... oooh, ahhhhhh.

When my man left me 2 days after Valentines day (b*st*rd!!) All that was left was a dozen red roses and a RH cd (Lady's Bridge) and that completely triggered a whole episode of mad, sad thought trails, trying to make sense of it, the loss, the sadness, the reaching out for his friendship through all that hurt, rushing out to get more RH music cos maybe the answers were in there sumwhere ('On the ledge' just kills me) BUT there are no answers-only 'get over it'! and I am sure I will-in time...shit I wish I was a shallow kind of girl and didn't 'feel' like this BUT I guess that this is how great art gets made and beautiful songs and poetry get written. The more we get hurt the more we want to love and be loved and that just opens us up to the risks of being hurt-again.

I live to learn

xxx

we all do some of us learn the hard way,i am sorry that person treated you so badly,but........you still feel and THAT is the most important thing don't become numb.....thts why i don't trust pills they just numb it out i like my pain its who i am.......captain Kirk said that...........correct.........but i understand how some of us can't handle the cold reality too,i feel hurt a hell of a lot......you have to feel what you feel WHEN you feel it.....not block it out..........i suppose that means get over it.......but IN YOUR OWN TIME.....i believe after a break up to become attractive or capable of another relationship you have to make yourself whole again,not half of a whole.....you must become complete..........then you have half of you to give away again............you can't give someone something you no longer have.



lie down





satsuma

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now,then!

Superglider, your scenario sounds frighteningly familiar. This time last year I'd been through the same and was teetering well and truely on the proverbial ledge. Prozac saved me. I know Richard doesn't agree, but for some people it gives you that little nudge to carry on. I was carrying around a blind panic, a gut wrenching feeling that at any time I was going to go under, the prozac stopped that feeling. Helped me rebuild. I'm still struggling to give myself over fully to another person, not to get hurt like I did last year, but then you start pushing people away.

Some people can be complete bastards and dont realise the damage they can inflict on another person emotionally.

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http://www.reverbnation.com/davesleney

I quite agree! Although my last relationship was over a long long time ago I've never forgotten the lessons I learnt from the two-timing b**d, now I have to be always in control, I can't relax and go with the flow. I have such a severe inferiority complex I'm determined never to be second best ever again, but hey that's life, I've been burnt, I bear the scars but I'm quite content most of the time

Luke's tips:

Don't give a damn about what others think

Always look after number one first

Look like you want, act like you want, do what you want and drink what you want

and, most importantly, if you want to be happy..........

STAY SINGLE

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http://www.myspace.com/lukemurcott

So what causes depression? Some of you on here have mentioned broken relationships, but where they the cause or is there something in the thought that it's maybe certain people are pre-programmed to become depressed?

My other half died in 2001, okay it was upsetting and I was down at the time but I was never depressed. For a few days I did have the feeling of not wanting to go on with life (in the mildest possible way, of course, nothing dramatic, just missing him and wondering about the future).

But for me time was definitely a healer, I do have moments when I think of him and feel sad, but never depressed. The fifth anniversary of his death, for some reason unknown to me, hit very hard but these days I don't usually think about the day.

Reading all the above from forum members I now count myself very, very lucky.

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There's a raven in the distance, his inscription's all around you, you can't hide

https://www.facebook.com/LiamMcKaheyandtheBodies
https://cousteaux.com/music

I guess it could be in the genes - but who knows!

Its possibly more a case of life itself - its at too hectic a pace, and a lot of the focus seems to be on material things - it might not be the way we were brought up but things have certainly changed over the last 20-30 years.

We all spend so much time working our arses off earning to live, we might be more cash rich than workers were in years gone by, but time poor - and that must hava an effect on family life. If you can't manage a career and family and go on three holidays a year you're failing!

I guess I'm a slightly different case as my depression is seasonal and definitely due to a lack of chemicals rather than any one incident in my life, but sometimes I sit and wonder whether my parent's divorce back in '77 (and only the second in my school - very rare in those days!) had a severe effect on me and makes me a bit more sensitive than I otherwise might have been with a solid background.

However, each of us is different and we all have our triggers - we just have to accept that its not a failure - its just that one extra straw that makes things harder and in some cases unbearable.

Depression seems more widespread these days but I think thats probably because technology means we have more information at the push of a button and we can share experiences and find similarly affected people more easily!

Luke - I would say that is possibly a recipe for disaster rather than a happy life! It is NOT good to always put yourself first, and you certainly can't always act how you want or ignore other people's thoughts or feelings

[quote="The Baroness"]I guess it could be in the genes - but who knows!



My mum is Bipolar and my dad gets depress quite often. I got a bit of both of them, and at times it feels like I'm cursed. Doesn't help the fact that I have a very low self esteem. I'm always trying to please people to win their love or to have their frienship. If someone becomes my friend or love me it feels like a favor. This is me since my adolescence, is crap.

So sorry to hear about your parents Louise!

You'll have to try and get out of that way of thinking about friends - I'm sure people are more than happy to have you as a friend

But if you can't get out of the habit - don't put yourself under pressure to please other people - that means you're not looking after your own needs and that is not a good way to be. Put yourself first more often - be nice to yourself and others will be nice back - honest

My family and friends often say I'm 'strong' because of the way I deal with stuff - I think it's just that I am able to take the attitude that I'll get through whatever it is, it'll be ok, it's not going to break me - and anyway what would happen if I, the supposed rock, let herself crumble? We'd all be in the shit!!! I consider myself very lucky to be able to deal with things in that way - I'm sure that a lot of people who have situations that they can't deal with would love to be able to do that.

Clinical depression, the black dogs of gloom that follow people for no tangible reason, is far more cruel and sinister than the stuff i've just described, and i think that it's more appropriate for that sort of situation to be treated with medication as it's probably a chemical imbalance that may not be treatable any other way.

in amongst all that there's bound to be situations that are a combination of personality, genetics and experiences - everyone deals with stuff differently, we all need a bit of help, from whatever source, from time to time.

Someone once said to me that 'You have to play the cards you're dealt' - it's just that some of us find that easier to do than others.