Richard Hawley

Agree that there should be no stigma and that pills are medically necessary for a lot of people to put them back on an even keel.
But drugs are still a convenient answer for some doctors – my sister has been on Prozac for years after being mugged in a particularly nasty way on her way home from work. Seems to me, there was an absolutely physical reason for her to be depressed – some fucker jumped her, stole her handbag and dragged her down the street by it. Think if the doc had spent a bit more time talking rather than singing "Medication's What You Need", she wouldn't still be taking them now, five years on.
The older I get, the more I know of friends and family who just don't get proper care from SOME doctors, who seem to make a value judgement when they meet someone as to what sort of treatment they need. The middle classes do definitely get a better deal – if you're able to articulate yourself well and the doctor feels a connection with you, then you are more likely to get a truer diagnosis than if you can't express what's wrong and require that extra bit of time to get to the bottom of your problems.
Glad when I was having my episode that my doctor didn't suggest pills. Luckily for me, SHE suggested bereavement counselling. After all, who wouldn't have been depressed at the death of a much-loved friend and young mum – pills wouldn't have changed the physical fact that she was dead one bit.
I'm not arguing that pills are not needed – the lessons in life are often that the drugs do work – but I'd just like to see a bit of talking to go with it. x

I'll never forget the depression that engulfed me when my marriage ended, I used to go take the kids to school, come home go back to bed and stay there until it was time to go collect, it was a terrible time.
I've not read through all of this thread so this advice might have been offered already, probably has but I think what can be even more helpful is to know you're not on your own, so many others have been or are in the same boat.

My turning point was getting my dog. Ironic, the Black Dog was sorted out by a little cavalier kings charles spaniel. I'd take the kids to school, come home and walk the dog, then I found I didn't feel the need to go back to bed. Isn't there something about exercise that's good for lifting the mood? something to do with endorphins.
I had counselling and medication was offered too but I didn't want to go down that road so I never started taking it, i picked it up from the chemist though and I knew it was there if I needed it.
I steered clear of alcohol as well, could easily have got stuck into a bottle of wine every night but I knew that wasn't the answer and I also knew it was a depressant in itself.
I still have days when I struggle to get out of bed and the black dog is sat on my chest. Life isn't easy, it's a struggle a lot of the time.
Try and do one nice thing for yourself every day, even if it's just a nice hot bath or a walk somewhere where you can breathe in the fresh air. Seems such a banal thing to say but there aren't any easy answers, it does get better if you listen to advice and seek the help of professionals.

thinking of you and you too Dave and anyone else who is struggling.

This is the most helpful book I've ever read on the subject

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Shoot-Damn-Dog- ... 0747572410

Anti-depressants dont 'make it all go away' though, nor are they 'happy pills. They pretty much put a cap on your emotions,both upwards and downwards, which in itself is not a very pleasant phase, but it's meant to be transitory. They put your body in a position whereby you can begin to manage your moods. It sounds ridiculous unless you'vebeen there but I would go in to work and end up almost crying over nothing.Literally nothing. Out of the blue. The tablets didn't cure me, but they helped me get out of bed in the morning and make it to counselling, which was what really made the difference. i haven't cried in almost two years now, and haven't looked back since.

_________________
breakingtunes.com/thechoirinvisible/

i am sorry i didn't mean to be so rude about a subject close to your heart,please forgive me...........right i am off to get a"happy pint'

_________________
now,then!

interesting thread. so much so that I began to post a reply and got completely carried away. I stuck here rather than clogging up the forum:

http://neilmcsweeney.tumblr.com/

have a gander if you can be bothered. comments welcome

Exercise definitely helps, running a few miles with some random soundtrack on the MP3 and soaking up all the sights (city or country) can assist in shaking off the blues sometimes. I would also recommend getting some counselling- it is not the answer to everything but talking to someone else about what you are feeling does allow you to get some perspective on things and ground yourself in a bit of reality. A good psychotherapist should be able to help pinpoint the origin of some of those deep dark feelings and let some light in.

_________________
The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously

No offence taken whatsoever. Hope the pint was good

_________________
breakingtunes.com/thechoirinvisible/

it was ace

_________________
now,then!

I don't know what to say, honestly I don't. I've read all your replies, read what my good friend Neil McSweeney has wrote ( and he should know, I've loved his songs for a few years now!) Pills are not the answer, god I know that. They've given me an ache in my leg, a limp dick, all sorts of side effects. On the up side they've helped me lose weight and be a nicer more balanced person. But why do I feel I need them?? I'm the most stable I've felt for years, but there's still a voice in me telling me I'm rubbish, worthless , crap, no good....I try to fight it, but it's there. I'm feeling bad now that I've resurected all this shit and made everyone look at it again. I have the most grounded, gorgeous girl at my side, two fantastic kids who I'm so proud of I could spontainiously combust, I make a half decent living, live in a beautiful home, eat good food......what the FUCK have I got to be depressed about? I honestly and truthfully don't know. But that horrible gnawing feeling of worthlessness is in my stomach and after 20 years is starting to piss me off in a more than depressed way. Maybe I'm a mentalist who should just get the fuck on with it...... I don't know, who does??? Thanks to everyone who's been brave and honest enough to answer this thread, maybe one day they'll discover that drinking your own piss once a day is the secret to a happy life, in which case I'll be miserable for a few more years to come.

_________________
http://www.reverbnation.com/davesleney

Dave, my depression in the main was reactive and I'm over the worst, thank God but I still have days like you describe. I really struggle to motivate myself and want to stay in bed with the duvet over my head and shut the world out, I can't recommend the shoot the black dog book enough, I can send it to you if you pm me.

Hope today is a really good day

Dave, I agree I mean I'm very happily married, got a gorgeous son, baby on the way love our home and where we live get on very well with my step daughters have great friends..................but just gets you when you least expect it unfortunatly Like last night at work I though one of my friends was annoyed with me, all in my head of course but I was upset inside. My husband says I REALLY need to stop caring what other people think and it's true cos I'm sure they don't give a shit what I think

Great post Dave, and from you Bradford Lass. To save a lifetime of drinking your own piss Dave, really do speak to your GP about the counsellor thing (I am sounding like someone's mum now). I'm sure it would get to the bottom of it. You might have to wait a few months but it's worth a shot. Take care. x

Dave - see if you can get some cognitive therapy - its supposed to be very good.

http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/diseases/depression/cognitivetherapy_000439.htm

I second that. CBT. Sounds like it could be just the tool you need. Anyone would get down if they had someone on their arm telling them they were worthless and rubbish all day everyday. And it's no good slagging yourself off for being too hard on yourself - that's just more of the same. CBT could be the thing.