Richard Hawley

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 Post subject: the wife
PostPosted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 10:19 pm 
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Hawleytastic!
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Joined: Fri Jun 16, 2006 2:28 pm
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Location: dreaming of ullapool
got the results back. breast cancer, missed for a year by the radiologist, doctors etc, now spread to her lymph glands. living nightmare. so angry.

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 10:47 pm 
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Hawleytastic!

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Oh honey, so sorry. Be hopeful though. One of my best pals had the same diagnosis and it had spread to her lymph nodes. But she had chemo and radiotherapy, which was hard, hard, and she's just come through her sixth yearly test cancer free. I also worked with a woman who wrote a book about her experiences and my friend thought it quite helpful. Will see if I can dig it out and send you the link. Thinking of you and give my best to your wife. xx


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 10:52 pm 
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So hard to say anything at all to this post mate,but i think i can speak for everyone here when i say how much all of us feel for you both and i would simply like to add my sincere best wishes to you and your wife.

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 10:57 pm 
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Yes - there's a lot of people who'll pull for you here. I hope that counts for something, somewhere.

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 11:16 pm 
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it does. i've thought about whether i should post about it as it's christmas and i don't want to bring people down but everyone has been so supportive on here in the past. i thought people might share their experiences as sadly it touches too many peoples lives. helen, that's given me a lot of hope, thank you.

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 11:32 pm 
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If christmas is about anything it is about being there for folks it passes quickly thank god,and i am with efsb there are folk here who will at the very least be a kindly ear and at most a support even if it is just the internet,we can make it want we want to be and right now it is here for you mate should you need it

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 11:47 pm 
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i certainly do. thanks richard.

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 17, 2010 3:38 am 
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Mick, just to say best wishes to you & your wife, and if you ever want an ear on here in the small hours, I'm often around at the obscurest of times. Like many folks cancer has touched a few people in my life. The 'successful one' is my cousin, who had breast cancer some years ago & is very well. Lofty x

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 17, 2010 7:31 am 
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Too much time on my hands
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As everyone has said we are here for you. It will be hard and emotionally draining for both of you but two of my friends have had breast cancer -one has been clear for 13 years now, -the other got her 6 month clear yesterday.... medicine is fantastic nowadays so keep positive!


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 17, 2010 7:57 am 
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Oh man, really sorry to hear this & feel for you both. Like Katikins I know someone who beat Breast Cancer my lovely sister who with Chemo fought it & won & has been clear for many years thank god!! You take care now & hope you both get some comfort from our messages.

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 17, 2010 8:44 am 
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Like others it's very difficult to know what to say in moments like this.
I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through.
I think people on here are sincere and I hope it helps in a small way.

Best wishes to you and your wife.


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 17, 2010 9:53 am 
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Oh Mick, my heart goes out to you and yours.
I've two friends who have both been through the same thing very recently and are still with us and been given the all clear. The C word scares the bejeebers out of you when you first hear it but they really know their stuff and can do incredible things these days. I'm thinking of you all.
I know people always say this but I really want you to take me up on it if you're ever stuck. I'm not a million miles from you and I don't work Mondays and Fridays, if I can ever help at all with anything, making a meal, running back and forth to hospital appointments, ANYTHING! let me know.


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 17, 2010 10:38 am 
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All the best with everything to all of you. Don't worry for a second about venting on here either.

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 17, 2010 10:57 am 
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Hi mph, talked to my friend this morning and the book is:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/0470 ... 0470854359

She also recommends the Cancer Research site, which is clear and no-nonsense. Also, she said try and make sure your wife is treated at wherever the local centre of excellence for breast cancer treatment is. Don't know where you live but she was treated at her local hospital but then insisted she went to Barts, which is the London centre of excellence. The reason she thought that was important was because she had access to trial drugs not available at her local hospital. She had a trial drug and the side effects were much minimised. And at these centres, they get to see the same sorts of illness every day, they work up a better idea of what is working and not.

She said when she was diagnosed, she was frightened and angry as hers had been missed too. She has four kids, which added its own pressures. She said to use that anger to make sure your wife gets the best treatment – push them to treat her fast with the best that's on offer.

Best wishes to her and you. And there's plenty of people here who have a good ear for a rant if you need to take a load off. Take care. x


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 17, 2010 11:13 am 
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Hi MPH
I can't really say anything that hasn't been said already but I am with Helen. I have had two friends who have been in a similar situation recently. One who had a very agressive cancer and it had gone to her lymph nodes. But she did everything recommended and she is still here and clear for over two years now. The other friends cancer wasn't so far down the line and she is fine too.

It is always scary but so many more people these days are winning the battle.

Keep us posted we are all thinking of you.

I wish you both all the best and keep everything crossed for you.
Best wishes x

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