Richard Hawley

Only just seen the post Mick. The news must be a bitter blow to you all and I understand your concerns.
Hope all goes well, as the prognosis for breast cancer is much better these days.
Take care, Steve

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Woke this morning and I got myself a beer ............

thanks everybody for the positive thoughts. she starts chemo on the 12th of january. the surgeon couldn't believe how it had been missed. still, at least they're pulling out the stops now. i hope you all have a fab christmas and new year. xxxx

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don't strive for happiness, it'll make you miserable. just be content.

You too love, chin up and hope it's a lovely Christmas for you and Kim and your family Xx

Just seen your post Mick - so very sorry about your wife - no wonder you are angry and I imagine you must still be in shock and scared. Don't know if this will help to comfort you, but I, too, have a close friend who has been through it and come out the other side and just been given the all clear at her 6 monthly check. Another friend has just been diagnosed and we are rallying round supporting her through this frightening experience. She said what helps most is the positive attitude of the people around her, although I imagine that might be difficult at times, but try your best love and you will both get through this together. I have seen lots of loving thoughts on here for you and your wife Mick, and as Kate said, if you need a listening ear, just pm me anytime at all. With lots of good wishes to you both and positive, positive thoughts xx

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people will forget what you said, forget what you did, but they will never forget the way you made them feel

I;ve also only just seen this Mick and send you both my love x

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Always be a first rate version of yourself, instead of a second rate version of somebody else (Judy Garland)

fucks sake. they called us in to the leeds general today, then changed it to st james's at the last minute. then we wait for 2 hours while nothing happens. they didn't tell us why we were supposed to be there. i spoke to 3 nurses before we got anywhere and then they ask us have WE got the results of the tests. YOU HAVEN'T FUCKING DONE ANY YET, YOU USELESS BASTARDS!!!!

you'd think after missing it for a year they'd kick arse. now she has 2 tomorrow, 1 on friday and she has to go in next tuesday and then start chemo on wednesday. this is hard enough without them screwing up like this.

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don't strive for happiness, it'll make you miserable. just be content.

Words fail me, Mick. What the hell has happened to the NHS?

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And I listen to you call, I hardly hear you at all
I walk the quiet night, watch the river rolling by

Sorry to hear that Mick, as if you aren't going through enough crap already! Hope they get their fingers out and start performing now - seems to be a real lack of communication between NHS departments these days - really hope you don't experience these mess-ups again. I had a similar experience when my daughter was in hospital a while back and was advised by a good friend to complain any time mistakes were made which I found difficult - not being a complainer - but once I took her advice and contacted P.A.L.S. (Patient Advisory Liaison Service) things started to change - dunno if that will help you, but hope so x

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people will forget what you said, forget what you did, but they will never forget the way you made them feel

What a debacle... hopefully they improve...
my sort of quasi grandmother has a friend in the uk who was in a car accident because she had fluid on the brain and passed out. They took her to hospital and she kind of recovered but without fixing the problem sent her to rehab. This is while the problems still exist and shes not coherent enough to describe her symptoms- Her GP can't get involved because he wasn't involved in the initial treatment. Eventually a doctor came by and demanded she be put back into hospital immediately and get it fixed- but I think it must have been months before that happened... this is the ehalth system in a lot of places around the world sadly enough- not to mention those who cant afford insurance and get sent somewhere with no adequate care or worse kicked out because they cant pay, and of course those in places without health care in the first place

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The sound of loneliness makes me happier

I have to say that, from experience of being with someone suffering from serious illness in the recent past, I found that I constantly had to chase up results, medication, diagnoses. There were many times when things got missed or instructions misunderstood. You have to be on your guard with it all the time, asking questions, making sure each different person you deal with knows the full story. I'm not suggesting you be a pain in the arse & bang your fist on the table of course, but you do have to be firm and make sure you are kept fully informed the whole time.
I feel very sorry for people who are on their own, or confused, or less able to understand the ins & outs of hospital situations. All sorts of small but vital things must get missed. Be on your mettle. I'm sure you're on top of things, but you can always drop me a PM if you think there's anything I can help with.

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The heartbeat doesn't change, only the faces surrounding it.

Good advice Lofty and I'm sorry (but not particularly surprised) that you are finding yourself in this situation, Mick. I had a similar experience with my son, who was in hospital for nearly four months with pneumonia when he was little. Won't go in to the ins and outs but the main thing I learned from the whole experience was don't take it for granted that they're doing all they can, ask questions, be a bit demanding and insistent. Be polite but assertive and resolute. If we had not done so, I'm not so sure my lovely one would have made it. Good luck, Mick, am thinking of you and your wife. x

yes good advice there. my dad is quite frail now and me or my sis / bro always go with him to hospital appointments, make notes, and follow stuff up with other docs and nurses that we subsequently meet.

the trouble is, you're the only constant in a merry go round of doctors and nurses, many of whom are meeting your mrs for the first time.

best wishes to you both.

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bring back the free trade hall

thanks everybody and that's sound advice lofty. i've been taking notes every time i go. i've also got a bit stroppy this last time too. she had a bone scan and blood tests yesterday and it's ct scan time tomorrow. just as important though, she went for a wig fitting. it's really disturbed her but she found one straight away that makes her look exactly the same as she is now. a more positive day all round.

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don't strive for happiness, it'll make you miserable. just be content.

Sorry to hear about you wife Mick. I hope she copes with the treatment without too many side effects, and the treatment works. It is over 10 years since my treatment, it wasn't pleasant but it was bearable. Losing my hair was bad, but a minor inconvenience in the whole scheme of things.

Try to take strength where you can from the good wishes of friends, I know how much it meant to me.

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Love is so hard to find
And even harder to define

So sorry to hear of your trials at the hands of the NHS, it makes it all so much harder. I hope eveything improves. Some sound advice here, make sure you're assertive, take names and notes and you won't be pushed about and fobbed off. Glad your wife found a wig straight away, I know my mum certainly felt more positive about chemo when she thought nobody would stare when she lost her hair.
Thinking of you both.