I feel for you and the situation you’re in. I’m a bit older than you and a bit further down the line but I know what it’s like not to have a pot to piss in.
I’m and union rep and I do some volunteering for an advice centre so forgive me if in the first instance if I try to give some practical advice.
Firstly, it’s great that you and your partner have found each other and you’re going to step up where her ex didn’t. But, for all intents and purposes, she’s a single parent and there are some great organisations that can help.
Gingerbread have a great website and have recently launched a money advice section and have all the gen about benefits and stuff you are able to claim if you have kids.
http://www.gingerbread.org.uk
Also, the TUC has some good advice about working and your rights if you have kids.
http://www.tuc.org.uk/tuc/rights_main.cfm
It’s called WorkSmart and it provides downloadable PDF advice sheets as are do Gingerbread.
As a general comment on your post, the thing is about the coalition is that they are c**ts, privileged, born into money, educated to rule the world, nasty c**ts.. They get all the best jobs, get paid the most money, get all the best housing and education. And it oozes out of their every pore, skews the way they look at the world and influences every decision they make. They don’t understand what its like to have no money, or fear for your future – they have the confidence of the master race, why give a fuck about your concerns?
Lastly, my dad married my mum when he was 22. She was a divorcee and had a 3 year old daughter – her husband was a violent man and she had the courage to leave him, even though it was in the early 50s and you didn’t really do that sort of thing. My dad adopted my sister at the age of 22 and went on to have three more kids with my mum. There was never a difference between us – he loves us all the same and we all know it.
I have always set my sights high when it comes to partners and I know it's because of the example set by my dad. He took responsibility at an age when some would have walked away and surrounded us with love, all of us. My parents have been married 53 years and they are still going strong.
Whatever happens with you and your partner, you will have set a high standard for her kids, someone who cares for their mum and took responsibility when others didn't. And they will love you back for it.
Take care and I hope things work out. x