Richard Hawley

This weekend sees the first official Hawleyboard drinking competition. But who will be last on their feet?

The runners and riders:

CraigA - 10/1 - Worth an each way bet if in the mood, but usually much more refined than getting wasted.

Dave - 25/1 - Novice drinker only recently introduced to the evils of alcohol by his girlfriend. Badly lacks experience and unlikely to trouble the leaders.

Hanging On To Harry - Evens - Another word for experience is of course 'age, and age is against this man. The lack of the need for toilet breaks is a big plus though.

Mrs Senna - 2-1 on - Drinks like a fish. With hollow legs. As close as it gets to a dead cert.

Michelvis - 33/1 - Whilst having the greatest ability to down a pint in the fewest sips, badly lacks stamina. Most likely to be passed out or barking like a dog long before closing time.

Mikey - 15/2 - Rumoured attendee and somewhat of an unknown quantity. A fondness for Cooking Lager so his abilities with a proper drink are yet to be judged.

SheffieldSean - 250/1 - Frankly there's more chance of Scotland winning this summer's Ashes, bless him.

"I like those odds"

I have not been training like Mrs S, Dave and Harold have this week, so I am sure I am at a disadvantage.

I'd just like to point out that Dave used to drink on a far more regular basis than me. And it's hardly my fault that it takes at least a bottle of wine a night just to put up with me!

I would normally back myself against most comers, but having witnessed the phenomenon that is Mrs Senna in full flight, I must admit I am worried.

The size of the wine glass she drinks out of at home is spectacular. She doesn't as much pour a glass of wine as decant the whole fucking bottle! Honestly, its like a bucket with a glass stem grafted on. And the wine doesn't exactly hang around very long. And then she starts on the Martini! And has the temerity to complain about being tired the next day!!!

Now don't get me wrong, I, too, would require a lot of alcohol, and probably some acid as well, in order to get into bed with Dave, but Christ, there are limits!

I broadly agree with Craig's summation of the field. Mrs Senna has to be a nailed on cert, but then, Dave was warned about this by Richard.

Although if Richard himself was around, I think the odds would alter dramatically.

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If Richard was around then it would technically speaking be a 'one horse race'!! Anyone foolish enough to take on the challenge, I fear would end up in casualty.
The landlord of Fagins was recently seen driving round town in his new Ferrari and was overheard talking about his new Yacht moored in St Tropez. This week while Mr H takes his holiday the curtains have been drawn in Fagins and 5 bar staff laid off for the week.

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http://www.reverbnation.com/davesleney

There was also the rumour that Richard's advance from Mute was paid directly to Fagins.

_________________
Jesus died for somebody's sins, but not mine
http://www.myspace.com/thejanskys

Can I please just point out that I am not the alcoholic you lot are making me out to be!

Yes I have a large wine glass, but I normally use one of the smaller ones.

Yes I can put away large quantities of Martini, but I've been drinking it for 15 years and my body is kind of used to it now.

I do not need alcohol or any other interesting substances in order to go to bed with Dave.

Richard is very cheeky.

And yes, Richard can completely drink me under the table.

_________________
Jesus died for somebody's sins, but not mine
http://www.myspace.com/thejanskys

I've done the whole ambulance ride from the Leadmill to casualty. I don't feel the need to repeat the experience. Which is why I'm on the Martini tomorrow night. Doubles, just so Harry doesn't feel too embarassed on Saturday morning!

Anne has just had a delivery....

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Hodie adsit, cras absit.
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I am in serious training for tomorrow night. I didn't get to the pub until 10.50pm, but have managed to put away 3 pints of Guinness, the bit of red wine that survived last night, and have just opened the litre bottle of Johnnie Walker Red Label that a very nice person gave me earlier tonight.

_________________
Jesus died for somebody's sins, but not mine
http://www.myspace.com/thejanskys

I had the night off acohol-wise. I went to the gym instead. I am a good girl!

lightweight!!

I see everyone is dissmissing the stalking horse!!

be warned......I'm playing the dog on me own tonight and then the Harry's gig tomorrow......I get nervous and when I get nervous I drink like a maniac!!!

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http://www.reverbnation.com/davesleney