Richard Hawley

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PostPosted: Thu Feb 14, 2013 3:43 pm 
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Joined: Tue Feb 05, 2008 5:38 pm
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Location: hull
Hi - I havent posted on here recently - I wrote a while ago about my cancer and my relationship with my family and my love for them and music......
18 months ago my lovely, kind, sensitive son went around our house and took every tablet he could find, after everything had become intollerable for him. He was 15.
We knew he was struggling, but, like most parents - you never think that your child would actually want to die.
We won the lottery..........he survived......(despite taking 94 tablets).........and he received brilliant care with both our police (who found him) and a special unit in Sheffield for children with mental health issues.
It is virtually impossible to explain the depths of pain that, as a family, you go through at this time. It is even harder to work out a way back......together.
Once again - music has stepped in to our aid! My son had already developed his own tastes in music, and was given a Neil McSweeney vinyl by his teacher in his unit in Sheffield, when he left to face the outside world.....
We had, of course, imposed our love of Hawley on him!!!! and I spent long evenings listening to, and playing him various LPs, and he - in turn - would play me some too ......it was during these nights that we began to speak of the events before, and his depression. Teenagers, especially I think, struggle to explain how they feel - or to find the right words - but he used music as a way of explanation - some was angry, some was happy and some was so raw - it was hard to hear........but it really helped us.
Initial trips out were to second hand record shops (thankyou god!) - it was a relief to have sounds to fill the gaps of conversation that naturally occured. Music gave us all time to breathe and time to think, and time to re-adjust our lives. Life has changed - forever.
My boy is now doing well - I love his braveness for fighting on - for facing friends and family afterwards. For 'manning' up to medication and 'therapy',His pride in his beliefs.
I love his humour too - we have unbelievably managed to find laughter in the events surrounding the past 18 months! I love his big unchecked bear hugs and unrequested 'I Love You's', and I really love hearing him select tunes before going out on a weekend - happy and excited..... I try hard to not yell 'turn it down' - because for me - it means he is here, with us. Alive.
Having had cancer - I always thought about me leaving him, not it being the other way around. Life hits hard like that sometimes...... but ever the optimist - I see the positives that have come out of all of this.
We took him to see Richard at Sheffield City Hall last year - and I spent as much time looking at him marvel at the sounds (and guitar collections!), as I did the stage........seeing the delight on his face - the unguarded surprised joy......This has enabled me to draw a breath and keep moving forward.
I cant wait for the live album! - Recorded while we were there......Ive promised him a vinyl copy.......its one of life's little unexpected surprises - being there - all together - and all sharing something wonderful.
Thankyou again for the huge music - I know lots of people have 'Hawley' stories......I just felt as if now was the right time to tell mine (again!)
I cannot process what lies ahead for my son, me and my family - so much of it is out of my reach - all I can do is keep caring.
And make cups of tea.
Life is good.
xxxx

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PostPosted: Thu Feb 14, 2013 8:10 pm 
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I can't put into words how your story makes me feel, but I wish you and your family the best for the future.

I try to live my life in the way that Richard puts in one of his lyrics: 'Kindness should be a way of life, not just something you should think about twice'. If only more people did.

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PostPosted: Thu Feb 14, 2013 8:35 pm 
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Best wishes to him and all your family. Music is so great because it can bring families together like that. It seems like a lot of young people feel isolated sometimes even with a loving family around them. It's great that everything is out in the open and you're able to talk about it, that can only be good for your son.

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PostPosted: Thu Feb 14, 2013 10:39 pm 
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Location: Near Wales.
Thank you for sharing your moving story. Life can be so difficult for youngsters. All the best to you, your son and family. The healing power of music is amazing.

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 15, 2013 4:43 am 
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Best wishes to you & your son koala. It's good to know that hope & happiness have come from some very difficult times.

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 15, 2013 10:58 am 
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Stops you in your tracks and puts things into perspective.

Best wishes to you and all your family.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 15, 2013 1:25 pm 
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Joined: Fri Dec 21, 2007 3:40 pm
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Your son sounds like a fine lad. Sorry to read of his troubles and of the pain that you as a family have endured. Your determination to see the positive ripples emerging from such an unwanted splash is beautiful and true. Inspiring stuff.

Wishing you and your family a very peaceful time of it in 2013. Enjoy the City Hall dvd when it arrives.

Nx


Last edited by McSweeney on Fri Feb 15, 2013 8:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 15, 2013 3:09 pm 
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your strength and continued optimism are so inspiring. may your son keep on progressing and finding new music. i keep thinking i've heard it all and then something will stop me in my tracks. long may your clean bill of health continue too. what a fabulous family. xx

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 15, 2013 5:47 pm 
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My heart goes out to you.

Kids, teenagers are hard work, even when life is tootling along quite nicely, and for you all to come out of the other side of this whilst dealing with what you have to bear is nothing short of amazing.

It must be so difficult, not knowing what would be the usual teenage angst stuff and what behaviours are exacerbated by the situation you are battling so very bravely.

Hat's off to you, hope everything continues to improve and keep on keeping on xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 15, 2013 8:27 pm 
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Sending you lots of love. Glad things worked out for you. Take care. xx


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 19, 2013 12:45 pm 
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My best wishes for your brave son and yourself. I'm so glad you came and told us about it all. It makes one realise which things are important and which aren't. I'm very happy about how you've been able to find optimism in the middle of it all. <*> (*)

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PostPosted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 3:13 am 
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Lots of love to you and your wonderful family, Koala.

~ Karen


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 24, 2013 8:29 pm 
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Oh koala, what a difficult time for you all.... none of us knows just what is round the corner, but it's how we deal with it and sounds like you've really done a top job. Lots of love to you and your dear son - music definitely is the best therapy! xxxxxxx

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 27, 2013 10:51 pm 
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Joined: Tue Feb 05, 2008 5:38 pm
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Location: hull
Thanks for all your kind words.......such A lovely bunch of people.....
We loved the Hull gig last night.....thanks again x

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PostPosted: Sat Mar 02, 2013 1:26 am 
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Koala, I was delighted to see your name again as I have often wondered how things worked out for you following your actions posts on here. I cannot begin to imagine what you have gone through and wish you and your family all the love, good health and happiness you deserve. Xxxxxx ..>

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