Richard Hawley

K.P. = Kitchen Porter, the unsung heroes of the hospitality industry. Made this up whilepeeling sprouts at work.

To be sung to the tune of "The 12 days of Christmas"

1. On the first day of Christmas, Chef gave me to prep:
A Truckle of Stilton cheese

2: On the second day of Christmas, Chef gave me to prep:
Two Gammon Joints
And a truckle of Stilton cheese

3. On the third day of Christmas, Chef gave me to prep:
Three Roasting Turkeys
Two Gammon Joints
And a truckle of Stilton cheese

4: On the fourth day of Christmas, Chef gave me to prep:
Four kilos of sprouts...etc

5: On the fifth day of Christmas, Chef gave me to prep:

FIVE CHRISTMAS PUDS!!...etc

6: On the sixth day of Christmas, Chef gave me to prep:

Six bags of potatoes...etc

7. On the seventh day of Christmas, Chef gave me to prep:

Seven gallons of gravy...etc

8. On the eighth day of Christmas, Chef gave me to prep:

Eight trays of chipolatas...etc

9. On the ninth day of Christmas, Chef gave me to prep:

Nine boxes of mince pies....etc

10. On the tenth day of Christmas, Chef gave me to prep:

Ten sides of smoked salmon...etc

11. On the eleventh day of Christmas, Chef gave me to prep:

Eleven Pannetones....etc

12. On the twelfth day of Christmas, Chef gave me the day off. Ha!