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Takemeanywhere
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 07, 2011 5:43 pm 
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Hawley Super-Groupie

Joined: Mon Jul 09, 2007 8:11 pm
Posts: 430
Location: Manchester
RP wrote:
No worries! I actually got it from a Christmas cracker this year!

:rendeer:


You couldn't tell :wink:
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eeezer
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 14, 2011 5:27 pm 
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Hawley Super-Groupie
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Joined: Thu Oct 25, 2007 2:17 pm
Posts: 378
Location: London
I was sitting on the train this morning opposite a really fit Thai
bird. I thought to myself: "Please don't get a boner. Please don't get a
boner." But she did.

I bought a dog from a blacksmith. As soon as I got him home he made a
bolt for the door.

I removed the shell from my pet snail to make him faster. If
anything it made him more sluggish.
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Eoin
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 14, 2011 5:36 pm 
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Posts: 12712
My wife was really nagging me today, said to me that after 10 years of marriage I never take her breath away anymore,..

so this morning I fucked her inhaler in the bin, that will fuckin learn her.

_________________
http://www.last.fm/user/strumms
I saw an elsebound train, on the overpass
In the driving rain, every ticket costs the same
For where you can't go
Mustang horses, champagne glasses
Anything frail anything wild
It's the price of living motion, what's beautiful is broken
And grace is just the measure of a fall.
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RP
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 14, 2011 5:43 pm 
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Hawleytastic!
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Joined: Tue Jan 06, 2009 1:04 pm
Posts: 1054
Location: Elephant & Castle
Eoin wrote:
My wife was really nagging me today, said to me that after 10 years of marriage I never take her breath away anymore,..

so this morning I fucked her inhaler in the bin, that will fuckin learn her.


I didn't know you were married. :eh?

_________________
http://www.theseveredlimb.co.uk
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eeezer
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 14, 2011 5:43 pm 
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Joined: Thu Oct 25, 2007 2:17 pm
Posts: 378
Location: London
Just to let you know, the Premature Ejaculation Society Christmas dinner
will be on Friday.

No dress code, just come in your jeans.
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RP
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 14, 2011 5:44 pm 
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Hawleytastic!
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Location: Elephant & Castle
eeezer wrote:
Just to let you know, the Premature Ejaculation Society Christmas dinner
will be on Friday.

No dress code, just come in your jeans.


He's blue! :*:

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http://www.theseveredlimb.co.uk
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Eoin
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 14, 2011 5:46 pm 
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Posts: 12712
RP wrote:
Eoin wrote:
My wife was really nagging me today, said to me that after 10 years of marriage I never take her breath away anymore,..

so this morning I fucked her inhaler in the bin, that will fuckin learn her.


I didn't know you were married. :eh?


I just found out recently myself.

_________________
http://www.last.fm/user/strumms
I saw an elsebound train, on the overpass
In the driving rain, every ticket costs the same
For where you can't go
Mustang horses, champagne glasses
Anything frail anything wild
It's the price of living motion, what's beautiful is broken
And grace is just the measure of a fall.
Top
 Profile  
 
Gary
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 14, 2011 7:34 pm 
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Hawleytastic!
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Joined: Sat Dec 01, 2007 2:08 pm
Posts: 1817
A fellow walking down a country lane see's a man on a tractor driving up and down a field shouting...

"IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!! IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!!"

Further on he comes to a pub and tells the barman about it while waiting for his pint.

Don't worry about him says the barman, thats just Farmer Geddon.

:cyclopsani:
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Coolfrog
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 28, 2011 1:31 am 
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Donkey Cock
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Joined: Tue May 02, 2006 5:21 pm
Posts: 961
Q. What's the difference between an
epileptic oyster shucker and a
prostitute with dysentery?

A One shucks between fits...
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Takemeanywhere
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2011 11:46 pm 
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Hawley Super-Groupie

Joined: Mon Jul 09, 2007 8:11 pm
Posts: 430
Location: Manchester
So, I said to my girlfriend "what do you want for your birthday, fatty?", to which she replied "oi, don't get lippy".

Mascara it is, then.
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eeezer
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 31, 2011 5:49 pm 
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Posts: 378
Location: London
Breaking transfer deadline day news : Spurs release Chas and Dave as
they are no longer needed for cup final record...
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helenwatson
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 31, 2011 6:53 pm 
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Hawleytastic!

Joined: Tue Jan 26, 2010 10:56 am
Posts: 2624
Location: London
I shall be putting the pain of this joke behind me and be cheering on the Os, especially as they are playing the Evil Arse. x
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Coolfrog
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 3:02 am 
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Joined: Tue May 02, 2006 5:21 pm
Posts: 961
no suprise: strartford hotspurs naturally end up in the jokes thread.
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helenwatson
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 10:53 am 
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Hawleytastic!

Joined: Tue Jan 26, 2010 10:56 am
Posts: 2624
Location: London
When we're good, we're very, very good but when we're bad, we're horrid.
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SarahaWilson
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PostPosted: Sun Feb 13, 2011 4:51 am 
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Joined: Sun Sep 20, 2009 11:27 pm
Posts: 398
Location: London
Did you know Richard the Lionheart had such problem getting fresh fruit and vegtables, He had to fight in the crusades just to get salad in.
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