Richard Hawley

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 13, 2010 1:13 pm 
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My girlfriend said I teat her like a door mat

I said "You're Welcome"


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 21, 2010 12:39 am 
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Did you hear about the blind circumcisionist?

He got the sack.

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 21, 2010 2:32 am 
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So, I lost the pub quiz last night by 1 point. The last question was.. " where do women have the curliest hair ?"...

Apparently the correct answer is Fiji

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I saw an elsebound train, on the overpass
In the driving rain, every ticket costs the same
For where you can't go
Mustang horses, champagne glasses
Anything frail anything wild
It's the price of living motion, what's beautiful is broken
And grace is just the measure of a fall.


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 21, 2010 8:53 am 
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:*: :*: :*: :*:


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 21, 2010 1:34 pm 
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If I had a penny for every time Nick Clegg broke a promise, I'd have enough to go to Uni


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 22, 2010 5:59 pm 
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Location: Barnsley
Q: What nationality is Santa Claus?
A: North Polish.

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 07, 2011 12:14 pm 
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What do you call an Australian who's good with a bat?


A vet.

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 07, 2011 2:12 pm 
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What do you call an Australian with 100 runs to his name?
A bowler


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 07, 2011 3:38 pm 
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Q. What do Australian batsmen and drug addicts have in common?
A. Both spend most of their time wondering where their next score will come from.

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 07, 2011 3:50 pm 
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Ed Miliband was on Jeremy Vine's show. Callers complained about his adenoidal voice & annoying brother & had a few things to say about Ed too.


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 07, 2011 4:11 pm 
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Why did the scare crow get given an award?

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 07, 2011 4:21 pm 
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RP wrote:
Why did the scare crow get given an award?


Oh, I don't know. Something about him being outstanding in his field? :?:


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 07, 2011 5:24 pm 
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Takemeanywhere wrote:
RP wrote:
Why did the scare crow get given an award?


Oh, I don't know. Something about him being outstanding in his field? :?:


Hey! That's my line!

Though you're meant to say it 'out standing in his field'.

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 07, 2011 5:29 pm 
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RP wrote:
Takemeanywhere wrote:
RP wrote:
Why did the scare crow get given an award?


Oh, I don't know. Something about him being outstanding in his field? :?:


Hey! That's my line!

Though you're meant to say it 'out standing in his field'.


Apologies...on both counts. Although, it was posed as a question!


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 07, 2011 5:34 pm 
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No worries! I actually got it from a Christmas cracker this year!

:rendeer:

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