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 Post subject: jokes for the pissed off
PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 4:05 am 
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The Boss
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ok my fave is humour so post your jokes here


i'll kick the ball off with me old classic

Two old pensioners are taking a trip down memory lane by going back to the place where they first met.

Sitting at a caf鬠the little old man says, "Remember the first time I met you over 50 years ago? We left this cafe, went round the corner behind the gas works, and I gave you one from behind."

"Why, yes, I remember it well, dear," replies the little old lady with a grin.

"Well, for old time's sake, let's go there again. and I'll give you one from behind."

The two pensioners pay their bill and leave the cafe. A young man sitting next to them has overheard the conversation and smiles to himself, thinking it would be quite amusing to see two old pensioners at it. He gets up and follows them. Sure enough, he sees the two pensioners near the gas works. The little old lady pulls off her knickers and lifts up her dress.

The old man pulls down his pants and grabs the lady's hips, and the little old lady reaches for the fence. Well, what follows is 40 minutes of the most athletic sex the man has ever seen. The little old man is banging away at the little old woman at a pace that can only be described as phenomenal. Limbs are flying everywhere, the movement is a blur, and they do not stop for a single second. Finally, they collapse and don't move for an hour.

Well, the man is stunned. Never in his life has he ever seen anything that equates to this -- not in the movies, not from his friends, not from his own experiences.

Reflecting on what he has just seen, he says to himself, "I have to know his secret. If only I could shag like that now, let alone in 50 years' time!"

The two old pensioners have by this time recovered and dressed themselves. Plucking up courage, the man approaches the pensioner.

He says, "Sir, in all my life I have never seen anybody shag like that, particularly at your age. What's your secret? Could you shag like that 50 years ago?"

The pensioner replies, "Son, 50 years ago, that fucking fence wasn't electrified."

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 4:08 am 
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Hot piece of Sheffield ass!
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yes!! great :*:


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 4:12 am 
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LOVE IT-back of the net!!!!!!


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 4:14 am 
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well hope your happy we might have to have a happy bedtime story next for me if not for youse lot

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 4:15 am 
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an old man relucently goes into an old folks home, he pleads with his son not to make him go... " ok says the son, if you are still unhappy by the end of you first night, I'll come and pick you up," so the father agrees. later that evening a beautiful blonde nurse comes in to give the old man a bed bath, rubbing all the right places the old man becomes aroused, "ohhh dear" exclaimed the nurse, " we'll have to do something about that wont we" as she procedes to give the old man some pleasure.

The next day the old man calls up his son, saying how much he loves the home, soon after the old man goes for a walk in the grounds, and all of a sudden he falls flat on his face. then suddenly a male nurse spots his problem, goes over and proceedes to pleaseure the old man, shocked the old man gets straight on the phone to his son, "son son you have to get me outta here" "why" says his son, " I thought you loved it?" "well" says the old man, ..... "! get a stiffy once a year, but I fall down 3 times a day"


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 4:17 am 
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ha ha ha in one...............bully's star prize :D

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 12:21 pm 
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a nun is sat in the bath when theres a knock on the door.
she sits up and says 'hello can i help you?'
The bloke says ' its a blind man can i come in'
so she says 'of course you can' thinking he won't see anything anyway
the bloke walks in and says 'nice tits love now where do you want these blinds'

bum tsh

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 12:30 pm 
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haha, classic

this is so old

two nuns are sat on a park bench when suddenly a man runs past in only his birthday suit, one nun had a stroke, the other wasn't quick enough!!

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 12:38 pm 
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TGAPaul wrote:
haha, classic

this is so old

two nuns are sat on a park bench when suddenly a man runs past in only his birthday suit, one nun had a stroke, the other wasn't quick enough!!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 1:59 pm 
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Two Nun's in a bath.
One said "Where's the soap"
The other one said "Yes doesn't it?"

:roll:

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 2:03 pm 
Two nuns cycling down a cobbled street. The first one says "I've never come this way before"; the second one replies "Must be the cobbles"


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 2:03 pm 
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:shock: :D

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 2:11 pm 
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two nuns (theres a theme) in a transylvania and dracula jumps on the car, one nun says "show him your cross"

the other nun says "get off my f**king bonet"

please excuse the language, both spelling and cursing

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 2:21 pm 
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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 2:30 pm 
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Bloke goes to the doctor's with a steering wheel down his trousers.

Doctor says, "What seems to be the problem?"

Man replies, "I don't know, but it's driving me nuts."

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