Richard Hawley

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 Post subject: The Garforth Experience
PostPosted: Sun Jul 06, 2008 4:24 pm 
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Flange cheese munching cockend
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Finally just coming round after the madness of Garforth :shock: ..........(lets see what I remember).......

.......The day began quiet enough but the pissing down rain had me reaching for my sturdy boots, wax jacket and deerstalker hat, a stylish look I thought for a festival, but then the rain stopped and decided on the usual black. At around 1pm the peace was shattered when The Baroness and Catsandbooks turned up at my flat demanding tea and food, Luckily NickD arrived and suggested a nice pub lunch. So off to a little pub in Bradfield nr Sheff for a farmhouse grill and the first of many pints that day. Me, Lady B and Cats then set off up the motorway for Garforth. I kept my eyes tight shut as Cats bombed up in the fast lane swearing at poor old drivers and flicking V's at kids in the backseats of other cars! :shock: As we screached into the hotel car park, it was time for a drink! Unbeknown to me and Lady B, Cats had brought the entire contents of her wine cellar in a gold lame snare drum case and we were marched forcefully to her room and made to drink a full bottle of wine.....time to venture to the bar........where we found Gary and his mate Baz a delightful pair of Geordies who had 'ganned doon like for a bit of summat ta dee ya knerw' Glasses were raised and the drinking began. Suddenly I was marched out and forced to Cat's room and sandwiched between her and Lady B while Dr Who was on......at this point Cats produced a bottle of sparkling shiraz which I was forced to drink and subsequently spill down me shirt. Dr Who over it was gig time. Mr H had kindly secured me access to all areas on the condition that Cats and Lady B were kept 50 yards away at all times! We then met Boltonlass and her bloke Jason, another top lad! Once inside the gig Cats produced form under her skirt a bottle of Cava :shock: and I was forced to the bar to thieve plastic glasses and drink wazzy lager. Gig was ace with a cracking performance from the lads and a blistering version of 'The Ocean' and standout of the evening for me 'Oh my love'. As soon as the gig finished Lady B and Cats made a dash for the dressing rooms, I tried to hold them back, but to no avail, Mr H was made to cower in the corner while the ladies tore into his rider of caviar, smoked salmon and bollinger champagne. I finally persuaded them to give Richard his trousers back and get them back to the hotel. The rest of the evening is a bit of a blur, but I seem to remember an excellent conversation with Gaz and Baz on the fine geordie art of 'noshing'and me and Jason stood having a fag outside while a 'traditional wedding fight' errupted (very entertaining!)......The next thing I knew there were seven of us squeezed into Cat's room for more booze and a 3 on a bed photo session featuring Gary, Cats and Boltonlass! :shock: :shock: (these pictures are on my phone and offers of £50 or over could see them released) Woke up with what I thought were 3 men with sledgehammers hitting me repeatedly over the head.....this turned out to be my hangover. After a 5 mile walk looking for breakfast we decided to head back home where Lady B and Cats demanded I cooked lunch.

I've just managed to get them away and back down south, although looking round I seem to be missing a bottle of Coles Corner hendos, a bottle of Coles corner beer and a bottle of Ladys Bridge ale.......I wondered what the clanking was coming from The Baroness's handbag as she left. :shock: .........I'm now typing this with a nervous twitch staring at a huge sinkfull of pots and wondering if councelling could be an option? :shock: :shock: :shock:




........well that's how I remember it! :shock:

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jul 06, 2008 4:36 pm 
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Too much time on my hands
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Dave,
You're making those photos sound much less innocent than they actually are. :wink:
We had a chicken, cheese and bacon butty in the Beefeater, it was great. We could have bypassed that 5 mile trek. I blame Cats for that.
I am extremely indebted to you (but not that indebted so don't try anything!)


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 06, 2008 5:15 pm 
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Hawleytastic!
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 06, 2008 5:26 pm 
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Hawleytastic!
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 06, 2008 8:45 pm 
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Location: Perfect weather to fly ...

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jul 06, 2008 9:20 pm 
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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 3:12 pm 
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Sounds like you all had a fab time - lucky Dave is all I can say! :*:

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 3:17 pm 
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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 6:40 pm 
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This sounds an absolute hoot! Can I come next time? I have a large handbag ......

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 7:24 pm 
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The Boss
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ooh you are awful.......but i like you


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 7:27 pm 
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:*:

Is the large handbag for smuggling in wine or smuggling out Dave's limited edition Hendo's........... cos I've just about cleared him out! :*:


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 7:32 pm 
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:shock:


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 7:34 pm 
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:*: Are you comparing me to an enema Mr Hawley? :*:

I didn't QUITE mean that kind of clearing him out............... :*: :wink:


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 10:29 pm 
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 11:13 pm 
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:thumleft: evening jason, welcome.


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