Richard Hawley

Finally just coming round after the madness of Garforth ..........(lets see what I remember).......

.......The day began quiet enough but the pissing down rain had me reaching for my sturdy boots, wax jacket and deerstalker hat, a stylish look I thought for a festival, but then the rain stopped and decided on the usual black. At around 1pm the peace was shattered when The Baroness and Catsandbooks turned up at my flat demanding tea and food, Luckily NickD arrived and suggested a nice pub lunch. So off to a little pub in Bradfield nr Sheff for a farmhouse grill and the first of many pints that day. Me, Lady B and Cats then set off up the motorway for Garforth. I kept my eyes tight shut as Cats bombed up in the fast lane swearing at poor old drivers and flicking V's at kids in the backseats of other cars! As we screached into the hotel car park, it was time for a drink! Unbeknown to me and Lady B, Cats had brought the entire contents of her wine cellar in a gold lame snare drum case and we were marched forcefully to her room and made to drink a full bottle of wine.....time to venture to the bar........where we found Gary and his mate Baz a delightful pair of Geordies who had 'ganned doon like for a bit of summat ta dee ya knerw' Glasses were raised and the drinking began. Suddenly I was marched out and forced to Cat's room and sandwiched between her and Lady B while Dr Who was on......at this point Cats produced a bottle of sparkling shiraz which I was forced to drink and subsequently spill down me shirt. Dr Who over it was gig time. Mr H had kindly secured me access to all areas on the condition that Cats and Lady B were kept 50 yards away at all times! We then met Boltonlass and her bloke Jason, another top lad! Once inside the gig Cats produced form under her skirt a bottle of Cava and I was forced to the bar to thieve plastic glasses and drink wazzy lager. Gig was ace with a cracking performance from the lads and a blistering version of 'The Ocean' and standout of the evening for me 'Oh my love'. As soon as the gig finished Lady B and Cats made a dash for the dressing rooms, I tried to hold them back, but to no avail, Mr H was made to cower in the corner while the ladies tore into his rider of caviar, smoked salmon and bollinger champagne. I finally persuaded them to give Richard his trousers back and get them back to the hotel. The rest of the evening is a bit of a blur, but I seem to remember an excellent conversation with Gaz and Baz on the fine geordie art of 'noshing'and me and Jason stood having a fag outside while a 'traditional wedding fight' errupted (very entertaining!)......The next thing I knew there were seven of us squeezed into Cat's room for more booze and a 3 on a bed photo session featuring Gary, Cats and Boltonlass! (these pictures are on my phone and offers of £50 or over could see them released) Woke up with what I thought were 3 men with sledgehammers hitting me repeatedly over the head.....this turned out to be my hangover. After a 5 mile walk looking for breakfast we decided to head back home where Lady B and Cats demanded I cooked lunch.

I've just managed to get them away and back down south, although looking round I seem to be missing a bottle of Coles Corner hendos, a bottle of Coles corner beer and a bottle of Ladys Bridge ale.......I wondered what the clanking was coming from The Baroness's handbag as she left. .........I'm now typing this with a nervous twitch staring at a huge sinkfull of pots and wondering if councelling could be an option?




........well that's how I remember it!

_________________
http://www.reverbnation.com/davesleney

Dave,
You're making those photos sound much less innocent than they actually are.
We had a chicken, cheese and bacon butty in the Beefeater, it was great. We could have bypassed that 5 mile trek. I blame Cats for that.
I am extremely indebted to you (but not that indebted so don't try anything!)

I'll give you £100 not to show them, not that i can remember much about it anyway
Was that red diesel we were drinking

Have you thought about a change of career, Dave? Journalism perhaps?

Fiction more like

There's nothing wrong with my driving and I'm generally nice to kids; Dave was responsible for the first bottle of wine ... and seemed a little too excited about being on a bed with Baroness and me which explains the spilt wine; Baroness and Dave pounced on my truffles and emergency chocolate rations; the cava was in my handbag; Boltonlass, Jason, Gary and Baz were great company; Baroness and Boltonlass were chuffed to see Richard, Dave dragged me over and I was quick to run away as still expecting a slap for the 'suit'; we managed to force feed Baroness three baileys as the night progressed and she had to retire early from the revelries; Dave instigated a discussion about handbags when Boltonlass, Baroness and I were trying to have a conversation about the various merits of Shez and Richard's guitars .... and the reason why the rest of us didn't have a stonking hangover is because we paced ourselves, made sure we ate, drank water and didn't mix our drinks


'Twas a great evening .... not least because of the excellent gig

_________________
The way your face could light the bitter dark of every street
In every town I'll ever go

It was brilliant - I gave up about 2.30 in the morning and left the drinkers to it............... the noise wasn't too bad up my end up the corridor............

A great evening was had by all.................

It was a very interesting watching Dr Who with three to a bed -- especially while the bed was moving forward all the time.................

I haven't seen all the pictures - they reckoned I'd be even more corrupted - and yes my handbag was indeed clinking - thanks to Dave for his generosity in completing my collection of Hendos (Coles Corner) and both beers.............

I'd like to add that although I was accused of nicking a bottle of water from the backstage dressing room from Richard's "rider" I had actually brought it in with me.............. I was just a bit gutted to have missed Richard before the gig in that lovely red shirt trying to make up his mind which jacket to wear - I would have had to ask him to model them all....................

Such a brilliant time - hope everybody got home OK - no sign of Gary and Baz this morning - hope they managed to find the hotel exit after being plied with Catsandbooks' wine all night...............

Oh and next time I go anywhere I do some research on pub breakfasts first - the 5 mile walk was lovely but I'm not doing that every time!

Sounds like you all had a fab time - lucky Dave is all I can say!

_________________
Always be a first rate version of yourself, instead of a second rate version of somebody else (Judy Garland)

_________________
http://www.reverbnation.com/davesleney

This sounds an absolute hoot! Can I come next time? I have a large handbag ......

_________________
"Fasten your seat belts. It's going to be a bumpy night."

ooh you are awful.......but i like you

_________________
now,then!

Is the large handbag for smuggling in wine or smuggling out Dave's limited edition Hendo's........... cos I've just about cleared him out!

_________________
now,then!

Are you comparing me to an enema Mr Hawley?

I didn't QUITE mean that kind of clearing him out...............

I'd like to weigh in here with my first but hopefully not too audacious post as promised. Loved the gig and the experience. Didn't have the time to gather a lynching mob to burn down the town hall.

I've been to a few RH gigs myself, Manchestser Academy, Warrington, etc (OK two! Three including Garforth) and I've loved every second of them. It's quite a surprise to me as the rest of my record/CD/,mp3 collection is vastly different. But I love the reverb, echo and whole sound design of Richard's vpice, band and production and of course the lyrical quality. (Arse kissing over)

As for the crew I met in Garforth, the southerners, the Geordies and Alan Partridge hotel room experience complete with John Craven impersonations and , it was an education. This 'svelte' chap enjoyed meeting new people with a similar and slightly leftfield world view.

And as for you Richard, nice meeting you. Sorry the sound was a ballache for you. You're a top bloke. Nice one!

Edit. My first post and I make a fucking faux pas with my avatar!! It's bigger than Richard's!

evening jason, welcome.